I have to begin this post by stating that I am writing with two biases:
1. I am, obviously, a woman.
2. I hate censorship.
I am writing this post after a lively online debate on sexism in the media. Is there sexism in the media?
Check this out:
I do not necessarily agree with every word this woman says, she's a little bit into blaming the media for my taste, but she makes some exceptionally valid points. Abuse is not sexy, stupidity is not adorable, and it puts a lot pressure on woman when men expect them to look virginal and act sexually-experienced.
We are all (myself included) desensitized to these types of ads. Personally, I do not necessarily think that is always bad. I do not believe that any kind of sex (heterosexual, homosexual, gentle, rough, oral, anal, etc.) should ever be demonized. Anybody who has taken a basic psychology course knows that sex is one of a human's four major drives, and that we are all aroused by different things in different ways. To paint any of it as unnatural is simply untruthful.
That being said, rape and violence, is not the same thing as S & M. Play with chains and handcuffs all you want. It is deplorable to leave a woman bruised and bleeding and tell people she liked it rough. It is unacceptable fair for an advertiser to portray a woman as beautiful, and show her apparently beaten. Children are not the same as adults. Act like a little girl in your bedroom if that's what floats your boat. Do not dress your little girl up like she belongs in the bedroom and parade her around for the world to see. The whole thing comes down to choice. When you dress a little girl like she is 25, you destroy her choice to be little. You put her in the position of having to act like an adult and deal sexual glances, gossip and judgement. That is abuse. When partner says a sexual act is ending, it should end, if it doesn't, that is abuse. For the media to project that is good or desirable to engage in either of those kinds of abuse is ridiculous. For ads to be made implying that a woman is an inadequate partner for having an opinion, is just insulting.
It is well less than half the media's fault, however. They supply what we demand. It starts with your kids. Teach your sons to listen to women. Teach your daughters to mean no when they say no and that knowing how to stand up for yourself is not only good but necessary.
1. I am, obviously, a woman.
2. I hate censorship.
I am writing this post after a lively online debate on sexism in the media. Is there sexism in the media?
Check this out:
I do not necessarily agree with every word this woman says, she's a little bit into blaming the media for my taste, but she makes some exceptionally valid points. Abuse is not sexy, stupidity is not adorable, and it puts a lot pressure on woman when men expect them to look virginal and act sexually-experienced.
We are all (myself included) desensitized to these types of ads. Personally, I do not necessarily think that is always bad. I do not believe that any kind of sex (heterosexual, homosexual, gentle, rough, oral, anal, etc.) should ever be demonized. Anybody who has taken a basic psychology course knows that sex is one of a human's four major drives, and that we are all aroused by different things in different ways. To paint any of it as unnatural is simply untruthful.
That being said, rape and violence, is not the same thing as S & M. Play with chains and handcuffs all you want. It is deplorable to leave a woman bruised and bleeding and tell people she liked it rough. It is unacceptable fair for an advertiser to portray a woman as beautiful, and show her apparently beaten. Children are not the same as adults. Act like a little girl in your bedroom if that's what floats your boat. Do not dress your little girl up like she belongs in the bedroom and parade her around for the world to see. The whole thing comes down to choice. When you dress a little girl like she is 25, you destroy her choice to be little. You put her in the position of having to act like an adult and deal sexual glances, gossip and judgement. That is abuse. When partner says a sexual act is ending, it should end, if it doesn't, that is abuse. For the media to project that is good or desirable to engage in either of those kinds of abuse is ridiculous. For ads to be made implying that a woman is an inadequate partner for having an opinion, is just insulting.
It is well less than half the media's fault, however. They supply what we demand. It starts with your kids. Teach your sons to listen to women. Teach your daughters to mean no when they say no and that knowing how to stand up for yourself is not only good but necessary.
Thank you for tackling such a difficult topic. I really appreciate your perspective on sexuality and the differences between abuse and "rough sex". Also, you handled the sexualization of children extremely well. Within the kink community, we have a saying that says "safe, sane, consensual". Children cannot consent. They do not have the mental capacity to understand what is going on at that age. I suppose what I'm trying to say, is that I agree with you completely when you say that sexualizing children is not cute, it's abuse.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliments. :)
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