On Pet Peeves

It drives me crazy when people mumble.   I almost involuntarily judge others for saying “I seen it”, as opposed to “I saw it “or thinking that “why for?” is an appropriate question. I have a hard time going on second dates with men who talk about  video games for more than thirty seconds, but I like to discuss novels, movies, and trashy (and not-so-trashy) television shows. I simply do not believe anyone who says they never fight with their friends or lovers—and it irritates me that anyone would assert that. I could list petty pet peeves I have for hours… but nobody would give a damn. They all have their own lists of annoyances, and many of them are probably habits of mine.

If my life can be compared to that of the general population this means two things:

1.       We should not dwell too much on what other people do wrong. They get under our skin, like we get under theirs.  As long as they’re relatively respectful, truthful, and tolerant, all the other stuff should be looked over because they are forgiving our shortcomings, too.  If that nice, honest, accepting person enjoys some of whatever we enjoy, and usually makes us laugh, we have a friend. If we find that friend physically attractive, at least most of the time, and feelings like butterflies, or somersaults   or some other sensation that does not normally occur in otherwise healthy stomachs are felt, we can become lovers. If we are great friends and lovers for a while, hopefully we can subconsciously ignore the mumbling, the boring conversation, and the horrid grammar.

2.       We can stop berating ourselves for the faults we know we have that may irk our friends, significant others, coworkers, family, or any stranger we may meet.  We excuse their stupid quirks way too often for that. As long as we do our best to be respectful truthful and tolerant, they should accept us.   If they can’t, then we have to surround ourselves with people who can.

Of course, life insists on being more complex than these guidelines suggest. Everyone has different definitions of respectful and tolerant, and even of honest. If we’re lucky, the individuals who raise us care enough to pass down their convictions.  Painful, attitude-altering moments force us to be incapable of attempting to be compassionate and open-minded, and make us feel like lying is our only choice. When we are in that messy psychological state, it is virtually impossible for us to avoid focusing on their pet peeves. And, let’s face it; I’m a pretty fortunate girl, so it is entirely possible that my life should not be compared to that of the general population. I think when am in what Mad-TV’s Stuart (the star of their only sketch worth watching)  called “my dark place,” it is important to try to remember that in spite for everything, those two things are true… Nobody really cares what bugs me and I shouldn't care either. What matters is to try to do and be good.  As always, my hope is that it will help somebody else to read the thoughts that help me.