On My First New Year's Resolution

On Beauty in Foxholes

A few weeks ago, I was asked how my disabilities affect my spiritual life. I have had trouble since then coming up with enough literary meat for a post. However, because of the horror in Newtown, I think a lot of us who do not consider ourselves prayerful people have looked up and asked “why?” My grandpa commonly repeated the old cliche,“There is no atheist in a foxhole.”  It has never rung more true to me than in the last couple of days. Our nation has been forced, once again, by a deranged young man into a proverbial foxhole and we’re all praying together that something will make this violent trend stop.

I think many people in the country will see the capability to end this violence in God. Some will see promise in Buddha, some in Jesus and some in Mohammad. Goodness should be looked for wherever people can find it; I am glad religion is helpful. Without it, the world would probably slump into a permanent state of unwavering depression.   

I do not want to offend anyone but my disability has in my opinion, made organized religion, almost unnecessary for me. I know that there are more good forces than bad forces in this world. I have spent countless moments in my life helpless. The number of people who have gone out of their way to help me and improve my day is immensely greater than the number of creeps who have attempted to use my condition to their advantage.  There were dozens of heroes in Newtown on Friday, protecting those innocent babies, and one sick bastard with a weapon. That ratio does not surprise me because I have seen it my entire life. For every annoyed onlooker who rolls their eyes while I struggle up the stairs, there are five who want to carry me. For every person has bullied me, there has been someone who couldn’t fathom their motivation.  Human kind is largely kind. When humans are evil, I pray. I pray not because of any specific credence but because I want to be able to see the joy in the world soon. When I send those prayers, it usually doesn’t take to long for me to get a text from a friend, or see a neighbor assisting another neighbor. Evil is the rarity, and good is the rule. Where was whatever being I pray to on Friday? It certainly not in Connecticut, but I believe that because most of us are loving and loveable, we can overcome this and we can see beauty again. That faith in human beauty, I hold onto like some hold onto the existence of God.   

(A video) On Inspiring

On the Shooting in Connecticut

President Obama spoke very eloquently about the disgusting,senseless,horrific crime that took place in Newtown,CT yesterday, which ended the lives of twenty  precious children and eight good adults.He said "These neighborhoods are our neighborhoods and these children are our children." We have make sure this cannot happen again. Twenty kids will never know what it means to have a best friend; they'll never know what it means fall in love. Forty parents won't get to see their babies go to school dances or graduate from college;they'll never kiss them good night again. As Americans we have to be willing to abide by any law that may spare people that inconceivable pain. We have to talk about mental-illness out loud and deal with its effects without shame.I have great admiration for the school teachers who protected and comforted their beloved students, and for the emergency response professionals who cared for people at this terrible scene. My heart is with our kin in Newtown. Hopefully, this is as bad as it gets. Hug your loved ones a little tighter this holiday.

On The Dangers of Mistrust of Authority

If one were to observe charts and graphs about Guatemala’s economy, without visiting the nation or surveying its people, they could be convinced that Libertarians are absolutely right.  Each year from 1960 to 2006 Guatemala lowered tax-rates, unemployment was below three percent and their government is was not indebted to even one other country. What that observer cannot learn from charts and graphs though, is that those employed people were uneducated, underpaid,   starving, and often without clean water. The saddest part is, the citizens of Guatemala had the opportunity change their circumstances, and chose not to do so. They are terrified of giving any of their personal revenue to the government.      

In 1999, the Consulta Popular bill (C.P.), which would give indigenous (namely, Mayan) Guatemalans equal social and political rights, was voted down almost as quickly as the tax reforms, which would allow the government to provide citizens with clean water and decent roads, were three years earlier. As a result, Guatemala has the lowest tax rates of any established democracy and those  who are in charge today struggle to provide people with their most basic rights.  (Blake, 2008)

The aforementioned CP was not just rejected by European Guatemalans, but by the Mayans themselves.  Most readers will find this counter-intuitive  but neither group has any trust in authority.  The European Guatemalans were afraid of loss of power, and the Mayans were insulted by the proposal. Though it guaranteed them the right to vote, and buy or own property, it did nothing to stop the discrimination that occurred in the private-sector, or in schools and did not impose a law that would force businesses to pay all employees equally, regardless of race. The Mayans had fought too fiercely to accept less than they deserved. (Carey, 2004)

Though it has long been run democratically, for years the Guatemalan government was simply too big. Not only was it controlling but there were also only one group with any power. The CACIF was a political party similar to the communist party, but was led by the owners of two corporations, who catered to their own.   Like many corrupt governments, they owed their power to the wealthy elite, and so, like many corrupt governments, they ignored the poor.  A result, in 1944, the "October Revolutionaries", and their leader, Juan Arbez staged a coup, and overthrew the oligarchy, or organizationally-run government. They established liberal economic policies, which benefited   and greatly strengthened the civil and labor rights of the urban working class and the peasants.  This movement seems like an occurrence the United States would celebrate. During the 1950’s, however the US was right in the middle of what is now referred to as The Red Scare and anything that resembled communism was thought to be evil.  The U.S. government ordered Central Intelligence to stop what they called, Guatemala’s “communist revolt", and placed unbelievably strict sanctions on Guatemala, and even stopped funding American fruit companies that were growing their products in Guatemala. The United States’ extreme action was a major component in Guatemalans mistrust of their leaders because it led to a wider division between the underprivileged Mayans, and wealthy citizens of a European decent.   Unlike in many minorities in other countries, the Mayans, who are very obviously discriminated, against were and are almost forty-seven percent of the ­population.  The majority of this group was sick and tired of being ignored. They staged uprising that led to a bloody civil-war that lasted thirty-six years, from 1960-1996.

As was stated earlier, the year the war ended a tax reform, which would only raise taxes by four and a half percent, was proposed and voted down.  Because there were no checks and balances in place, all Guatemalans were fearful of returning to the oligarchy that was in place before 1944, and refused to give the government the chance to do so. Why did the elite fear the kind of government that had made their lives so easy? They had seen what is possible when running one’s own business, and wanted that ability.

Fortunately, in 2003, a PAN candidate, Oscar Berger was elected. Berger is a moderate, who was able to win the support of European Guatemalans by promising to enforce a US-like market reform, and won the Mayan vote by promising a stronger equal rights bill. In 2006, that bill was passed, and so were the exact tax reforms proposed at the end of the Civil War in 1996.

Berger’s willingness to pass these bills and the citizens’ willingness to trust him are certainly a turn for the better. Enforcing these laws however, has proven to be very difficult. No equivalent the Internal Revenue Service exists in Guatemala and tax evasion has become a major problem.  Racism still is rampant, and deep. European Guatemalans make excuses not hire Mayans, despite the fact that the discrimination is technically illegal. Both issues, according to outside economist and sociologists, are predicted to be issues for a long time.   

It appears that European Guatemalans are currently in a situation similar the one that the Caucasian Americans were during the Civil-Rights, and Women’s Liberation movements of the 1960s. They may not like the government is asking them to open their minds, and are attempting to find ways to keep them closed. The U.S. has not come far enough since the sixties, but we have made remarkable progress. Every generation has become more and more tolerant, and the laws put in place to protect African-Americans and women were certainly a huge part of that. I believe the same can and will happen for Mayans in Guatemalan. That is why I agree with the statement, “the evolution of tax policy and indigenous rights show that, slowly but surely, democracy is improving the lives of all Guatemalans.”     

Works Cited

Blake, C. (2008). Politics of latin america. (2nd ed., pp. 298-318). New York, New York: Houghton Mifflin.

Carey, D. (2004). The struggle continues: Consciousness, social movement, and class action,. Latin american Prospective. , 31(6), 69-95. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/4141608

    

On People to Whom You should Pay Attention

disabilityandIdo.blogspot.com

On Shame

I do not recall the last day I woke slowly. Lately, I jerk awake embarrassed by something I said the previous day, or even weeks ago. I have almost always lived in  fear of disappointing, boring, hurting or offending others. This is difficult for me. I am  a very opinionated person, and my sense of humor does, at times, have a sharp edge. My loved ones know that about me, and accept it. I, however, struggle daily to accept it about myself. I have had full-fledged panic-attacks over jokes or comments I  made. I have done a lot of apologizing, a lot of lying, and I have even broken my bank, terrified that people will get sick of me and simply exit my life.  I have spent many years denying that this had anything to with my physical challenges. I thought that this was a totally unrelated disability which I just happened  to be unlucky enough to be born with as well. That is fallacious.  The truth is, there is a constant tape playing in my head telling me that my friends and family are doing favors for me by dealing with every issue my disability presents. Because I believe that I am indebted to them in some way, I also believe that I have no right to express myself in ways they may dislike.  The scarier aspect is that for a long time, I believed that who were ashamed to be seen with me, or irritated by my slow movement, had good reason for the feelings. That I wasn't allowed to be hurt by their bigotry, because it was natural… Who would not be humiliated by me? I was.  In the last year, I have made great efforts to learn to ignore the aforementioned psychological tape.  My life has improved drastically. There are days, weeks, and months, though in which I constantly have to make the choice to rise above those thoughts.    

I am blogging about this because I assume I am not the only person with this problem. I want people to know that no matter how hard you work to silence  that lying little bastard in the dark corner of your mind, sometimes, you are going to wake up to his irreverent screaming. This is not a permit to engage in the behavior that you did back when he controlled your life. It is not a pass to act self-destructive, or ashamed. The dear people who proved him wrong over and over again by sticking with us deserve better than that. I’m better than that. You’re better than that.