Typical porn is bad for numerous communities partly because
it sets completely unrealistic expectations of the human body and sex, and also
because its characters are almost exclusively arc types such as “ditz”,
“vixen”, and “clueless man who cannot help himself”. Inspiration
porn which is currently a hot topic in the disabled community, while milder, is
similar. This term
refers to media that exploits people with disabilities by portraying the ordinary
things we do as extraordinary, and by depicting all of us as perfectly innocent.
(See examples here, here, and here)
Many readers may
think: Stories and pictures like that are well intentioned and even celebrate people
with disabilities. Why would anyone be offended? This is valid, intelligent question. I hope my response is valid and intelligent.
Like pornography creates restraining labels, inspiration porn
places people with disabilities into in boxes usually marked “angelic”. Fitting into that box is obviously impossible.
I like to think my C.P. has taught me a
lot, but I can’t compete with Tiny Tim, and because people are naturally
dynamic and multidimensional, that’s not even something a clearheaded society
wants. We often learn our most significant lessons after acting inappropriately.
All people, regardless of ability, deserve opportunities to screw up and
learned from it.
Perhaps the weirdest, most painful thing about inspiration
porn though, is that unlike X-rated material, which often makes sex look sexier,
women look more flexible, and men look more toned, inspiration porn lowers an
able bodied viewer’s expectation of disabled people. It teaches them to be
impressed when one of us goes to work, or even gets out of bed. When those around us do not expect that we
will achieve normalcy, it is difficult to believe that we can. I do not subscribe to the idea that people
rise to whatever level the majority says they can reach. It is undeniable however, that knowing that
strangers, and sometimes our loved ones see us as incapable, definitely
depresses those of us with physical challenges, much like the unrealistic goals
the porn industry sets for young women has depressed generations. Undoubtedly, images
of women being tied up, or of couples performing a sex-acts, emaciated, while hanging upside
down, are much more detrimental and dangerous than a cheesy-captioned picture of a
wheelchair user; there is no arguing that. The truth remains: you can
only be pushed down so many times before you just lay on the floor.
Most everybody understands the appeal of watching disabled
people legitimately succeed. It is fun to see people do something you thought they never could. I know that life is, in some instances, more challenging
for people like me. So, if you’re blown away by a guy with no limbs climbing a
mountain, I get it. What I wonder is how
the same people who are shocked that I
have been employed, made friends, or
even that graduated high school, want me
to smile through every experience. It isn't fair to assume that I am inept just because I walk funny, and it isn't fair to
expect me to be the picture of kindness either. My knock-knees and horrible balance never make
me want to stay in bed all day. Battling those crazy assumptions sometimes
does. Inspiration porn is one of the many reasons I am engaged in that battle.
Almost everyone in the world means well. Sometimes,
they just can’t tell how tired others are. Maybe this will post help someone understand. That
would be awesome.
